1:30 a.m.

The intro is some sort of CGI thing with clips from all sorts of movies. People are chering, bbut I don't know why. It seems sort of lame to me. 

This is the 80th Annual Academy Awards. Does this mean because it's a number ending in 0 I'm going to have to 

Jack Nicholson is in the front row. He's ALWAYS in the front row. Does he only agree to go to the Oscars if he gets a front row seat? And why does John Travolta get such a good seat?

Jon Stewart just made a good joke that if Vanity Fair wanted to show respect to the writers, they could invite them to the party. He's not standing behind a podium this year. Bold Move, Mr. Stewart!

Julie Christie is wearing an AIDS ribbon. I know she hasn't worked in a long time, but didn't she get the memo? They haven't worn those ribbons in at least 10 years.

I love how Jon Stewart laughs at his own jokes. I can relate. I laugh at my own e-mails, which is like my very own Oscar monologue.

He just told us how to come up with our own stripper names: the name of our childhood pet, and the street we grew up on. So if you're wondering, MarathonMum fans, my stripper name is...Hammy Wetmore.