Sunday, November 11, 2007

My 39th Birthday


Today is the day I turned 39 years old. (Or, it might be the first time I turn 39, only to repeat it every year. Watch this space.)

But I really wanted to celebrate, and I had just the bottle with which to do it. When I ran the London Marathon in 2005, my friend Liz, who was also running, and I organized a raffle to raise money for our charities-- Cancer Research UK for her, CAMFED for me. At the time, she was working at the Houses of Parliament, so she was able to get a bottle of House of Commons champagne for our raffle.

As it happens, my great friend Mollie won the champagne. On the day of the marathon, when I passed her at Mile 4, I kept yelling, "You won the champagne! You won the champagne!" It's a good thing she wasn't at Mile 24, because the information would not have been so enthusiastically broadcast. A few days later when I went to present the prize to her, she handed it straight back to me. "I'm so proud of you," she said. "You earned this."

Then, as often happens with prized bottles, it sat in our wine rack, waiting for a special occasion to drink it. The wait became even more complicated in January, when my doctor prescribed me a drug for my arthritis that means, for the sake of my liver, I can't drink any more except for Very Special Occasions.

I decided that my 39th birthday would be a Very Special Occasion. Personally, it has been an interesting (a euphimism for challenging) year for me, and I was glad it was behind me. It was time to open our House of Commons Champagne with some of our great friends. Wine lovers will know that since it is called champagne, it is from France, which I find very ironic. You'd think they'd be able to source some British sparkling wine, but I digress.

When we opened it, I argued that it was too bad we didn't have a House of Lords bottle to compare tastes, as one could presume it would be of a higher quality. I thought the House of Commons Champagne was just OK, but others at the table said it was fine.

In the end, the taste of the champagne didn't matter. What was more important to me was what it signified: an accomplishment for which I am quite proud, but also, optimism for the days ahead.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

I'm Smarter than Nicole Kidman!

My Brain Age (according to More Brain Training by Dr. Kawashima): 23
Nicole Kidman's Brain Age (according to the commericals advertising same): 24

Take that, Nicole! You may be beautiful, blond and all the boys want to date you, but I'm smarter. Ha ha! Actually, it seems like high school all over again.

My addiction to More Brain Training happened like any addiction: slowly, without me really noticing. Now while I'm not quite at the point where I need to do brain training to get out of bed, it's not far from it.

The problem is that it offers daily validation as to my intelligence, and gives me a chance to improve it-- at least by the standards of the game. I doubt I'm smarter than when I first started my training and my "Brain Age" was 80. I mean, 80?? Had I completely lost my edge while I stayed home with Thing One and Thing Two?

So I relentlessly started training. Obviously, because I'm not THAT sad, I didn't apply myself to the task to the same degree as my marathon training in 2005. But I had to point to prove: Just because I'm not working, or "retired" as Thing One recently described it, does not mean that I have the brain of a geriatic.

This morning, after about a month of "training" I finally beat Nicole Kidman's score. However, the cynic in me also suspects that the clip was edited for commerical purposes. She is moving far too slow in those commercials to have a brain age of 24.

Thinking about what I knew when I was 24 (not much, frankly) versus what I know now (a book's worth), I can't understand how a younger brain age shows that you're smarter. How could a 24-year-old punk be considered smarter than a world-weary 38-year-old?

It doesn't compute. But I don't care: I'm smarter than Nicole! Validation for today has been attained.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Halloween Recap

Halloween 2007 received rave reviews from Thing One and Thing Two.

"This was the best Halloween EVER," said Thing One.
"I had so much fun at our Halloween party Mom. Didn't you?" asked Thing Two.

Halloween in the United Kingdom has been an evolving holiday since we first arrived here almost nine years ago. The very first Halloween, in 1999, coincided with the baptism of Thing One. I had asked neighbours if it was a big deal, and they all replied in the negative, so I didn't buy any candy. As it happens, I was also dealing with a brand-new baby, so Halloween was low on the list of priorities. That year, we had few random trick-or-treaters, but there was nothing in the shops to indicate that this was a holiday that was celebrated here.

Things have moved on since then, or indeed, since 2002, when the only Halloween accessories I was able to find in the shops here was one pack of Halloween napkins, found at Waitrose.

This year, you couldn't move for all the choice of Halloween things available in the shops. I even heard less grumbling about the "Americanization" of the U.K. as more children embraced the idea of dressing up and getting candy in return. As I make no apologies about being an American in London, I figured it was up to us to celebrate the holiday fully, so we had a party for 15 children and their parents.

One of the perks of being a foreigner abroad is you get to make your own traditions and rules, but also incorporate the best aspects of things from home. To illustrate: I made the children play "Bobbing for Apples." I could not explain the reason for the game nor why it's played on Halloween, but we did it anyway. The kids got SOAKED, but they had a great time.

By the time the games had been played, the pizza had been eaten and the children were about to burst from excitement, we set out for Trick-or-Treating. Thing One was dressed as Sam, the first monkey to survive space travel. Thing Two was dressed as Harry Potter (and he even has the British accent to say it properly).

We hit the mean streets of London for only about an hour, and we only visited the houses of friends, but that was enough. The kids got a bag full of candy and (hopefully) a head full of fun memories.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Halloween Through the Years

2002
2003



2004


2005


2006


2007
A big thanks to My Most Excellent Friend Kirstin, who was the photographer for most of these pictures, and who also provided the front door setting and created this Halloween tradition.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Our Half-Term Break

Thing One and Thing Two (not to mention their mother) jammed a lot of fun into last week's half-term break.

We:
* Attended the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards
* Went rock climbing
* Saw Ratatouille
* Braved the Dinosaur Museum
* Slurped some noodles at Wagamama
* Made Roman tiles at the Museum of London
* Admired the crack at the Tate Modern
* Attended the U.K. premiere of the Bee Movie

So when Thing Two arrived back at school this morning and was asked what he did over half-term, he cast his mind back over this wide variety of interesting and educational activities and replied,

"We went to Burger King!"

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards: Searching for Us on TV

Live Blogging the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards: The Edited Product

It's 11 a.m. GMT and we're gathered around the hearth, I mean the TV, to see if we made the final cut of the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards.

McFly opened the proceedings. I don't know any of McFly's songs, but apparently they do a lot of covers, and I lucked out with the opening song, as it was a cover of "Pinball Wizard" by "The Who." So I could sing along and pretend as though I was a McFly fan.

You also will not be surprised to hear that there is a great deal of camera trickery involved, making the venue seem about three times bigger than it actually was.

Also, there's lots of kids in the front of the stage. The only reason that happened was because they announced at least a half dozen times, "Moms and Dads, please move to the back. The area around the stage is for KIDS ONLY."

Thing One and Thing Two are enjoying predicting the winners. Since we were there, that's not a hard thing to do.

The presenters and winners keep saying "This evening." I don't know why: we filmed in the afternoon, and they're broadcasting it in the morning. Maybe they want all the kids watching to be jealous of the kids who are there, thinking that they were allowed to stay up past their bedtime.

Emma Watson just won favourite actress. This was one of the few people who I (a) knew and (b) was genuinely excited about seeing. You can tell she's important, because the burly security guy is following pretty closely behind as she walks through the crowd. She looked amazing, too. Even the Fug Girls agreed.

McFly just won favourite band. I can't help but wonder if they only agreed to host the show if they won something. But given the recent phone-in voting scandal in Britain, and the fact that the Nickeldeon viewers voted on the winners, I doubt very much the good people at Nickelodeon would have tried some monkey business. Then again, you never know.

Shayne Ward went to pick up an award. I didn't know who he was, either. In my head, I was mixing him up with cricketer Shane Warne. Shayne Ward is a singer who's won X-Factor. Apparently. They also refer to him as the "Prince of Pop." Wasn't that Michael Jackson? (A quick Google check actually reveals that the Prince of Pop was Andy Warhol.)

Next Up: The Burping Contest. We might be on TV! Not for the burping, but because we were sitting next to the judge's table. (The fix was in, by the way. The producer told the H2O girls just before the bit, "Brian is the last one, OK?") Sadness. We weren't on TV! This was the one time I thought we might make it past the final edit.

Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) now is there to present an award. Goodness, he is lovely in person! I guess all of that Harry Potter evil makes him look uglier than he actually is. Would I go to jail for lusting after Draco? Or will they make me join the Slytherin House?

McFly is back, and now everyone is magically waving Glo-Sticks over their heads. "Why didn't they show handing out the Glo-Sticks?" Thing One wants to know, because it is he who braved the scrum on the floor to secure one. "They did it during the break, but they edited it out," I explained. At this point in the filming, I sould point out, Thing Two was snuggling on my lap, hot, tired and completely disinterested in the proceedings.

The Slime Squad just made their appearance. I'm trying to see if you can see us running for the exits. You can't, but we were.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Surviving the Nickoledeon Kids Choice Awards. Or how I managed not to get slimed on Saturday afternoon.

Thing One and I were playing a highly competitive game of Monopoly Express on Saturday morning when a friend called. Were we doing anything that afternoon? Would we be interested in attending the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards?

Now although Nickelodeon and its younger sibling Nick Jr. are played semi-regularly in our house, I didn't know anything about the Kids Choice Awards. A dim light bulb went off in the back of my head, as did the words "green slime", but that was about all I knew about it. As it happens, we were free and so were the tickets, so I gladly accepted.

Once off the phone, I told Thing One and Thing Two where we were going, and much celebration ensued, because while I knew nothing about it, they knew all about it. "McFly!" they said. "McWho?" I asked.

Later that afternoon, as we made our way to the Excel Centre, I wistfully recalled the days when I was a journalist and living in Freebie Heaven: free books, free CDs, free videos, free dinners, free theater tickets, free you-name-it. The dosh was fantastic, and gratefully welcomed, given the paltry salary I was making at the time. Those days are long behind me now, though, so it was great to hitch another ride on the Freebie Express.

Once we got to the Excel, I fondly remembered the last time I went there: to pick up my London Marathon number in 2005. You could tell right away something exciting was happening-- large orange people on stilts wandered around the crowds, Nickoledeon staffers waited at the door waving foam fingers, and hundreds of excited children were making their way to the sound stage/awards ceremony.

We walked past the security checks, got our Kids Choice Awards Special Guest passes (though on that day we ALL were special) and slowly made our way to the stage area. The decorating theme was Nickoldeon Orange and it was EVERYWHERE. On the way to the sound stage, the good people at Nick also had set up several fun areas for the kids: a dance floor, pictures with Nickelodeon stars and video games. We skipped all of this, though, because we wanted to secure a good seat inside before the fun began, which was due to start in about 30 minutes. It was a good thing we went straight in, too, because we really had to hunt for a seat since so many parents had spread out coats to save seats for their offspring still in the fun area. We finally got a good spot, but only because a woman who had saved enough seats for about 10 people (she was only saving for three others), decided to let us take three of the spaces.

Then we waited, and passed the time by counting the number of cameras, monitors and Nickelodeon signs. Finally, the warm-up guy came out and got us all on our feet dancing and screaming. After he did his bit, he told us we were going to be live on TV that day. What he really meant to say is we were "Live to Tape" (a term I learned when I saw an Oprah show, years ago), meaning they were going to run the show as it it were live. However, if a McFly had trouble reading the AutoCue, which he did, it also meant they could do it again and fix the mistake in the edit suite.

We spent the next two and a half hours watching various Nickelodeon stars win awards (I think the fix was in). I started to play a little game with myself, predicting the winners based on who they said would be at the awards show in the introduction. I was quite successful. I suspect that Thing One's T-shirt might even make it on to TV, given that he was standing behind the stars of H2O while they did a comedy bit. (By the way, they don't ACTUALLY have fins. I checked.) Thing One was thrilled to see David Beckham win Best Sports Personality (oops! Spoiler!) and Thing Two was thrilled to see The Simpsons win Best Movie (oops! Another spoiler!).

The Grand Finale, for which the audience was warned several times, was the Great Sliming of the Audience. Neither Thing One nor Thing Two were so keen on this idea. One woman in the audience even had a shower cap on her head in preparation. Once the Great Sliming began, we ran for the exits. We ran so we wouldn't get slimed, but also because we wanted to get the Nickelodeon Goodie Bags before they ran out.

It was hot. It was loud. It was something else. But in the end, it was fun. We will be watching on Saturday morning to see if we're TV stars now.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Harvest Time!

After months of watching, hoping and hardly any watering -- given that the skies took care of it for us this summer-- it was time to harvest our apple tree. As you can see from above, the yield was somewhat disappointing-- yes, we really only got three off our tree. (One fell off in the rain about two days before the harvest, and another was lost about a month ago).

So hardly enough for a pie, or even a small crumble. But the boys were thrilled. And it's possible we'll be able to double our output next year with just a little bit of work.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Happy Birthday Thing One!

Thing One is now officially 8 years old. Time flies when you're having fun.

I don't know how, I don't know when, but sometime in the last year, Thing One changed from a boy to a young man. He can engage in interesting conversations. He likes to go off on his own and read for a bit. His interests are getting older-- climbing centres instead of the playground, real golf instead of the purple plastic set, cello (!) instad of the recorder.

Over the weekend, as we were riding the tube up to St. Johns Wood, he wanted to sit on my lap. I realized that he's now too big-- too many long limbs-- to sit comfortably there. So then he moved on to his Dad's lap, and had the same problem. He was crestfallen (a bit) that his days of lap sitting were over. So I told him when we're at home and we have more room on the sofa, he can sit on our laps there. But how much longer will he want to do that?

We celebrated Thing One's birthday by visiting Disneyland Paris for the weekend (more on that later). Thing One's favourite ride was Space Mountain-- he rode it four times.

Finally, here is a short list of the things I love about Thing One:
1. His fearlessness. His love of roller coasters (see above) and all things fast at amusement parks.
2. His ability to try anything once. Last month, I made some fish pie for dinner. I asked Thing One, "Do you like it?" He replied, "Not really. But I'll eat it anyway."
3. His enthusiasm for new things: the cello, golf, all things electronic, Monopoly
4. His continued enthusiasm for old interests: Boy Scouts, swimming, Top Gear
5. His love of reading
6. His adaptability and love of travel.
7. His ever-present smile and laugh

Happy Birthday Thing One. May you have many more.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

A Well-Balanced Cultural Saturday

Experts say people should always eat well-balanced meals, advice I also like to apply to my cultural life.

Last Saturday, I started the day by reading "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy, and I finished the day humming the tunes of "Mary Poppins." A well-balanced day, by all accounts.

If you haven't read it, "The Road" is the Pulitzer Prize winning book detailing post-apocalyptic life in the U.S. It is bleak, bleak, bleak. If falling ash, gray skies, lack of life and total desolation is your cup of tea, go read this book. It is a haunting book that will probably stay with me for the rest of my life.

I've decided that the next time I'm really depressed, I'm going to read this novel again because I'm sure to conclude that no matter how bad I think my life might be at the moment, it wouldn't be in the same league as life in this book.

However, the book also forces the reader to evaluate their life, how they live it and what they're living for. It might also inspire some people to prepare emergency readiness kits. I took one crucial piece of advice from this novel: when you see the mushroom cloud, begin to fill up all of your tubs with water.

Having finished this bleak (but good) book Saturday morning at 10:30, I needed some sort of antidote to bring me back to normalcy. So I decided to go see "Mary Poppins" in the West End.

Mary Poppins was one of my most favourite movies growing up. London! Royal Parks! Dancing Penguins! Little did I know that 30 years later that would be my life-- other than the dancing penguins. Being an American, I had no idea that Dick Van Dyke's accent was so atrocious (though now it makes me wince). I still know all the words to "A Spoonful of Sugar" and "Supercalafragalisticexpedaladocious." And since the musical is closing in early January, this was my last chance to see it. Luckily, I had young boys at the ready to drag along to the show, so I wouldn't be this sad thirtysomething sitting alone in the audience, singing along to the shows.

Thanks to my good friends at TKTS, I was able to score half-price tickets for the matinee that day for Thing Two and me. I extended the invitation to Thing One, but he was keen to go out with his dad. Our seat were in the stalls (the orchestra, for my American friends), but we only paid £30 for £60 tickets. One of the many perks of living in Greenwich is that we were only 30 minutes away from the theatre (including the walk from the train station), so getting there was easily done.

The musical was magnificent. The acting was a little wooden, sure, but you soon forgot about it when you saw Bert dancing on the walls and the ceiling of the stage-- my favourite bit-- and Mary Poppins flying over the audience. The staging alone was worth the price of admission. (Well done to my friend Pat, who worked on putting together the staging when it opened in 2004). It was a completely over-the-top musical with singing and dancing as only the West End and Broadway can do.

I loved it, as did Thing Two. And by the end of Saturday, I had managed to partake in a well-balanced cultural meal.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

International Talk Like A Pirate Day

Ahoy mateys!
Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

They have a website , of course. (Who doesn't these days?)

I realize this post is too late in the (British) day for anyone to actually spend a large amount of time singing sea shanties while wearing black eye patches, but perhaps you could mark your calendar for next year.

Friday, September 14, 2007

A New Car Game

I am attempting to clean up my desk, which is no small feat, let me assure you. But while I was recycling old dress shop receipts, magazines, business cards, and scraps of paper I don't need anymore, I found an intriguing slip of paper. Last year, when we went to France for two weeks, I kept track of all the country car stickers we saw. It reminded me of the classic American car game when you try to see the most state licence plates, and then have bragging rights to the back seat. So this is my list from last year:

B Belgium
S Sweden
D Germany
NL Netherlands
F France
I Italy
DK Denmark
E Spain
L Luxembourg
CH Switzerland
CZ Czech Repulic
IRL Ireland
A Austria
GBJ Great Britain-Jersey*
(that's like seeing Alaska or Hawaii)

and finally, on the back of our own car,

GB Great Britain


In case you're wondering, yes, I did have bragging rights for the front seat, but it didn't mean much because I was the only one playing. Now back to the desk....

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Back at School


Thing One and Thing Two returned to school Tuesday. It was a sad day all around. They were sad because they knew it was an end to the lazy days of summer where normal operating rules do not apply. I was sad because they were gone and I missed them.

A week before, I kept thinking, "Hooray! Back to school! Two whole hours a day to myself!" But this morning, I kept thinking, "Back to school ALREADY? Summer was too short. Please, can't we just have another week?"

The sadness really surprised me, but the real shocker occurred when Thing One left me at the school door. Now that he is a Junior, and all grown up in the school's estimation, I drop him at the door and makes his way to his classroom. Previously, I left him at the door of the classroom, which enabled me to see his classmates, chat with his teacher if need be, and confirm that he made it to where he needed to be.

Thing One happily gave me a kiss, told me to have a great day, and he was off. I almost started to cry. It's such a small thing, having him go upstairs to his classroom, but all of the sudden he seemed so grown up to me. And all of the sudden, I could almost see all sorts of scenes from his short life flash before my eyes. I could hardly believe the cute curly-haired boy who taught me how to be a mother was now going off on his own.

When my boys were babies, it seems as though I always thought, "Faster. Faster. Faster," as I struggled though the monotony and hard work of looking after them. Now that they're older and more independent, I find myself thinking, "Slower. Slower. Slower," because I know soon enough they will both be more than happy to run ahead, and go off on their own.

Note: To see how much they've grown in the last year, go here.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

The Absurdity of Living in London: Example 2,472

When Mr. MarathonMum and I wanted to celebrate our 12th anniversary last night, I had to make reservations at two restaurants: one we really wanted to go to, and the second as our "safety" in case we didn't get into the first place.

Perhaps I could have been more organized and tried to book it at the beginning of the summer, rather than three weeks before. I'm not a London rookie after all. I know how these things work. I should have known better.

After several calls and e-mails around London being told there were no tables available, we got put on the waiting list at Locanda Locatelli. Then, much like applying to university, I found a "safety" where we were guaranteed a spot, but it wasn't our top choice. (I'm not going to name the restaurant because I'd still like to eat there some day.)

Being a fan of Georgio Locatelli and his cookbook, Made In Italy, and all things Italian, I really, really wanted to eat at Locanda. It's also known as a stomping ground for Madonna, Gwenyth Paltrow and others, so I thought we would some value-added celebrity spotting thrown in for good measure. As a lowly commoner in London, I decided the only way we were going to get a table would be to use my best talents: persistence and humour.

I shamelessly kept calling the reservation desk to see where we were on the list, and always threw in a few jokes to help our case. Honestly, I wasn't far from asking some people to write us some supplementary reference letters to help us get in. By Wednesday, she told me we had made it to No. 1 on the wait list. Woo-Hoo! By Thursday, we were still No. 1, but no one had cancelled their reservation. By Friday, we got the call we were waiting for: We Got In!

A tip to our not-rich and not-famous friends: Persistence and humour works.

We went last night. While it was perfectly lovely meal, it was neither the best meal we've ever had-- that honour goes to Angela Hartnett at the Connaught for our anniversary dinner in 2005, nor the best Italian meal we've ever had-- that honour goes to Antico Arco in Rome in 2003. It wasn't even the best Italian meal we've had this year-- that honour goes to The Silene in Pescina, Italy.

Don't misunderstand, we had a nice meal. We weren't disappointed exactly, but it didn't seem to be worth all the trouble to get a table. And we didn't see anyone famous.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

The Best Mother In The World

Friday marked the 10th anniversary of Princess Diana's death. The most moving part of the memorial service, attended by dozens of royals, prime ministers past and present, and a few celebrities, was the most simple.

Prince Harry, who was only 12 when she died, said in his eulogy, "To us, just two loving children, she was quite simply the best mother in the world."

Being a mother is the hardest job in the world. But isn't that how all mothers want to be remembered by their children?

Friday, August 31, 2007

Bruce Springsteen to be in my postcode!

The news nearly made me fall over: Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street band will be touring the world in the autumn, and stopping in London in December. Not only will he be in London, but he'll be in my postcode-- SE10! (albeit on the other side of SE10, but still...)

I learned this the night before tickets went on sale, so I planned my strategy for Thursday morning at 9 a.m. Ideally, I would have preferred to be trying to get tickets online, but duty called and I had to be at the tennis courts instead, so I knew I would have to use my mobile to call Ticketmaster. How times have changed. Twenty years ago, the best way to score tickets would be to sleep out in front of the Ticketmaster office or the stadium where the concert took place. Obviously, I never scored good tickets 20 years ago because there's no way on earth my parents would have let me camp out for tickets.

Being the optimistic person that I am, I convinced myself that Bruce Springsteen wasn't nearly as popular in the U.K. as he is in my home state, N.J. "I think I'll get some tickets," I said confidently. "No way," said Mr. MarathonMum. "He's huge everywhere."

At 9:01 a.m., with the boys running ahead to the courts, I started dialing. Cheeky Ticketmaster has changed the phone system since 1987. Rather than getting a busy signal or a line that won't stop ringing, you get connected (and charged for) a recording that tells you that "due to the high volume of calls there are no ticket agents available." Thanks for nothing.

At 9:10 a.m., I'm still calling and ignoring both my friends and my sons in my pursuit of The Boss. I'm developing a callous on my thumb from redialing.

At 9:13 a.m. I begin to worry that I'll run out of Pay-As-You-Go credit.

At 9:16 a.m. I begin to hear the start of a different message. Could this mean I've done it? Alas no. As the Ticketmaster recording woman adds to her spiel, "All tickets for the Bruce Springsteen concert have sold out."

At 9:17 a.m. I yell, "SON OF A BITCH!!!", oblivious to the fact that several young children are nearby.

So Bruce Springsteen will be in my postcode, but that'll be the closest I get to him in December. Unless he adds some dates (again, note the eternal optimism).....

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Beach, Or How I ALMOST Got To See The Rolling Stones


It was another beautiful autumn day here in London yesterday...

Oh, wait. The calendar tells me it's August. But surely with the gray skies, blustery wind and ongoing rain it must be November, right? In any case, it was another terrible day and our fruit picking expedition got cancelled, so we headed to....

The Beach!

(Or as Thing One calls it, "The Fake Inside Beach at the Dome.")

The Dome, now known as the O2 Centre, shipped in a couple of tons of sand and set up a beach. Desperate to remember the hot fun days at the Jersey Shore just a month ago, we went for a visit.

A good time was had by all. We made a sand castle, we played with the free beach ball and we buried our feet in the very COLD sand. But unfortunately, as we were leaving, Thing Two got his finger caught in the door at the S&M Cafe where we had lunch. ("I told you we shouldn't have gone there," he said between sobs. "We should have gone to Pizza Express.")

I carried him over to the concierege desk and asked to be taken to First Aid, so Thing Two could get some ice, a band-aid and some attention. In that order. The man took us through to what I thought was the office, where I heard some thumping music. He and the other man behind the desk were discussing where the closest first aid station was and they decided the closest place would be backstage. I perked up immediately. Now THAT could be fun.

I then asked where the music was from.

"It's the Rolling Stones, doing their sound check for tonight," he said.

I quickly did the math: Thing Two Needs A Band Aid + Backstage First Aid Station + Sound Check = ME MEETING THE ROLLING STONES!!

The excitement was short lived. As I was doing that calculation, the man behind the desk did some searching and found a plaster for Thing Two.

I Can't Get No Satisfaction.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Help Wanted

With stock markets around the world imploding, it made me ever-so-slightly nostalgic for my old job, where a 4 percent drop in the FTSE would be enough to give me either (a) an adrenaline jolt so big it would take me two days to get to sleep; (b) a nervous breakdown; (c) a combination of the two. However, I got this e-mail from a friend describing my current job, and it made me laugh, so here it is for you to enjoy too.

POSITION: Mother, Mum, Mama, Mummy, Momma, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs £ 5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the garden are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that university will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Something that made my day-- if not my year

This morning, as the boys and I were cuddling in bed, trying to get ready to face the day (a daunting prospect for us all-- we're ALL ready for school to be done) and discussing whether Boris Johnson would be able to beat Ken Livingstone in the election for London's mayor...
(EDITOR'S CORRECTION: We were counting down the days until we get to Aunt Kathy's house at the seaside and deciding what sort of fun things we want to do in America when we get there),

Thing One turned to me and said,

"I'm so glad I was born into this family."

My day was made.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Tour de France in Greenwich

The bikers of the Tour de France rolled through Greenwich on Sunday, and we were there to cheer them on.

It is odd, to say the least, that the Tour de FRANCE would be in London, but apparently, every year the First Stage is mounted in a country other than France, and this year for the first time it was London's turn.

It was a brilliant sight to see the bikers (and their hundreds of support vehicles and buses) pass by, albeit in a flash. If you were one of the unfortunate Starbucks patrons who was standing in the queue from hell, you would have missed them. All credit to the British fans who did not use the biker's passing as an opportunity to shout, "Roids! Roids! Roids!"

About two hours before the bikers, a "Carnivale" rolled through that had a few hundred trucks and scantily-clad women promoting all of the "Official Tour de France" companies. They seemed to have everything covered, sponsorship wise: water, newspapers, cheese, candy, camping sites, eyeglasses. Every once in a while, the scantily-clad women would throw a freebie to the kids. The thing they liked the most was a "Visit Western Australia" ID badge. They liked it so much they spent the rest of the afternoon telling me, "Mom. We need to go to Western Australia TODAY!"

Thing One and Thing Two were inspired enough by the sight of the Tour de France to ask for an afternoon on their bikes. They then raced each other on the play street and announced, "We're racing in the Tour de France."

I decided that it wasn't necessary to make it a genuine experience by testing them for drugs.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Precious Things

Behind a non-descript door in the basement of our 200-year-old house sits a big black Victorian safe.

There’s only one problem with this big black safe: It can’t hold any of my precious things.

Mechanically, the safe works perfectly. Multiple keys, which we have, are needed to lock its many compartments and thick door. The heavy door, which could easily amputate a finger, is impressive. Inside the safe, there are several different-sized compartments and drawers in which to hold valuables.

So while the safe can easily store valuables, even though it sits empty, it can’t hold the thing I deem the most precious in my life: the good health of me and my family.

The importance of that simple thing—good health—came into sharp relief for me last November when I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. I was only 37 years old.

It was a long and painful road to that diagnosis, involving five doctors, four X-rays, one MRI and countless consultations during most of 2006. In the end, the correct diagnosis came from Google, the Internet search engine. I decided to try a consultation with Google after a medical study showed it was excellent resource to figure out hard to diagnose problems. Dr. Google came up trumps, later confirmed by two doctors.

Up until then, I took my own good health for granted most of the time. Why did I need to worry? I was in my 30s, I completed the London Marathon in 2005 and the only times I ever stayed in a hospital were when my sons were born. I never seriously thought I’d have to worry about the preciousness of my own good health.

My father, an eternal optimist, is fond of saying, “At least we have our health,” when things don’t go according to plan. In our family, that was always the fallback statement to make us feel better when things went wrong. When my father was made redundant, we said it. When I didn’t gain acceptance to the university of my dreams, we said it. When my brother got divorced, we said it.

But there have been times when the statement was no comfort at all. When my father was diagnosed with lung cancer when he was 48, we couldn’t say it. When my brother was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer when he was 40, we couldn’t say it. When I was diagnosed with arthritis when I was 37, I couldn’t say it. Our good health was the one thing we could always depend on when things went wrong. But once we couldn’t say, “At least we have our health,” we painfully understood how important and precious it was.

Last week, just as I was going to step into the shower, my mother called and said she had some news. As I could sense this was going to be a long call, and I was clothed only in a towel next to our front window on a busy street, I told her I would call her back.

By the time I did return her call, I had spent the previous 15 minutes pondering what the news could be. I worried that it could be news of a recurrence of my brother’s cancer. I worried that it could be news that the medical tests she just took revealed an undiagnosed serious problem. In short, I worried that the news was really horrible.

“We had a flood,” she told me, when I called back.

My first reaction was relief, but she was quite upset. A confluence of meteorological events meant the ground around my parent’s house got completely waterlogged, which led to more than 18 inches of water in their basement at the end of two days.

They lost many things that seemed precious but really weren’t: old records people hadn’t listened to in decades, boxes of my childhood schoolwork, love letters from my high school boyfriend. What broke my mother’s heart was the loss of hundreds of pictures, documenting our family’s history, and what she considered to be most valuable.

“But at the end of the day, it’s just stuff,” I told her. “It’s sad to lose it, but I was imagining news much worse than that.”

For good measure, I added, “At least you have your health.”

Because, like all precious things, good health is something you take for granted only until you lose it.


Editor's Note: There are many things I wanted to write about-- the Cutty Sark fire, our trip to Italy, the return of my running routine, but I'm short on time. Instead, I pasted above an essay I wrote for the Arthritis Care foundation for its writing competition. The only requirement to enter the contest was to have arthritis. The theme was "Precious Things."
"Result!" I thought. "Finally a perk of having arthritis. I've got it AND I can write. I"ll win for sure." As it happens, I didn't win, but I got a nice letter from them today saying that I was on the final shortlist, which makes me happy (though it would have been better if I'd won.)

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Mr. Monopoly

If Thing Two is Mr. Movie (if you've ever witnessed his impressive grasp of the cinematic art form, you'll know why we call him that), than Thing One most definitely is Mr. Monopoly.

We experienced this first-hand last week while we were on holiday, as the lazy afternoons left us the several hours necessary to play the game (the adult, not the junior version).

Mr. Monopoly quickly gripped the nature of the game and devised a strategy. He bankrupted several members of his family in different games by loading up on hotels on just one piece of property (with his development on Bond Street being particularly effective). If you're wondering, his marker of choice was the dog.

He's now keen to resume the tournament this weekend, but first I'm going to have to excavate our own games, which are buried somewhere deep in the toy room, but I know not where.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Help Spread the Word About Madeline

I got an e-mail this morning about the disappearance of Madeline McCann from a friend urging me to send it to everyone in my address book. I decided to do one better and post it on my blog. I don't know if it will help, but it makes me feel better knowing that I did what I could.

If you haven't heard the story, Madeline McCann is a British four-year-old who went missing while on holiday with her family in Portugal. This is a story that has broken my heart, especially since she is just three days older than Thing Two. Her parents were dining in a nearby restaurant in their Mark Warner holiday complex. When her mother went back to check on her and her two siblings at 9:30 p.m., she was gone.

It is every parent's worst nightmare.

Here's what the e-mail said:
Madeleine McCann's family believe a new picture of the missing four-year-old
could play a vital role in the search for her.
The photo of the youngster shows clearly the her distinctive right eye,
where the pupil runs into the blue-green iris.
This is the picture:

It is this distinguishing mark that will identify Madeleine to those on the
lookout for her, according to aunt and uncle John and Diane McCann.
The Glasgow couple aim to distribute the appeal poster, which features the
Crimestoppers telephone number, as far afield as they can.

Mrs McCann said: "The purpose of the poster is to highlight the distinction
in Madeleine's eye. We want to make the most of it, because we know her hair could potentially be cut or dyed."

For more information about the search for Madeline, go to http://www.bringmadeleinehome.com/

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Happy Fourth Birthday Thing Two

Today is Thing Two's fourth birthday. I can hardly believe it, as it seems it was only yesterday I was walking slowly through Waterloo Station on my way to St. Thomas' Hospital, worried that I might give birth in one of the busiest train terminals in London. Thing Two very kindly waited to be born until I arrived in the hospital.

But I digress. Please indulge me as I list some of the things I love about Thing Two. Mr. MarthonMum might have his own list, but as this is my blog, I get to say what I want.

Top Ten Things I love about Thing Two:
1. How he loves kisses and hugs
2. His ever-present smile (even when he's upset)
3. His upbeat personality
4. His curly hair (shorter than it used to be, but still curly)
5. His appreciation of movies, thus earning him the moniker Mr. Movie
6. How he sings to himself when he's happy, but he doesn't want you to join in.
7. How he loves to cuddle up and read books, or page through them on his own.
8. His speed: all that marathon training paid off-- he's a fast runner!
9. How he loves his family, especially his big brother
10. How he gets excited and happy over really simple things.

Happy Birthday Thing Two. May you have many more.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

American Sports Knowledge (or lack thereof)


It's a beautiful sunny day here in London, so Thing One dug deep into the hat box-- past the winter hats and mittens-- to unearth his new Pittsburgh Steelers hat.

This was the first time he got to wear the hat, a Christmas gift from his aunt and uncle in the Steel City. As we reached the door of his classroom, I realized that some of his friends might ask about the hat and who the Steelers were, so I thought I should check to make sure that he knew answers.

"Do you know what sport the Steelers play?" I asked.

"Umm....." [insert thoughtful pause here]

"Cricket???"

[Editors Note: For those not familiar with the 2006 Super Bowl Champions, the Pittsburgh Steelers are an American football team. Thing One never guessed the right sport, so we will be sitting down after school for a brief sports history lesson. I'm sure his relatives in Pittsburgh died a little death when they read the above.]

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Happy Marathon Anniversary


Two years ago today, at this very moment, I was running the London Marathon.

One year ago today, I was limping around, due to a mystery problem with my left foot.

Today, I know these three things: (1) I completed the London Marathon; (2) I have arthritis (3) Making that marathon my first, and last, one.

April 17, 2005 was, quite simply, one of the most amazing days of my life. I had been a runner since I was 12, and a marathon was something I always planned to do, but life (job, family, etc.) always got in the way. Finally, in 2004, I "won" the London Marathon lottery and got my place. My plan was enhanced by the fact that I had to do all of my weekday training with Thing Two, who was 23 months old by the time race day rolled around. I called him my personal trainer, and to this day, I am amazed at how patient he was about the training, though I think all of the raisins and fruit bars along the way helped.

Two years later, I can still hear the roar of the crowds, the mission I shared with the 33,000 other runners that day, strangers yelling out "Go M0!" and, yes, the brutal pain that made me wonder why I wanted to do it in the first place. To keep me going, I kept repeating the mantra: Pain is Temporary, Pride is Forever. I also kept in mind that if I didn't finish, my chosen charity CAMFED wouldn't get the sponsorship money I promised it. In the end I raised more than £4,000 to send African girls to school, an accomplishment that makes me quite proud.

Now that I have been diagnosed with arthritis-- an especially interesting problem, given that I'm only 38-- my marathon memories have become all the more special to me. In November, my doctor told me I'd never run again. Never one to take no for an answer, I kept nagging him until finally last month he relented and said I could give it a try if I took necessary precautions (i.e.: 20 mile runs are a thing of the past). I've now been out on four runs and I'm thrilled to say my foot is not hurting all that much (though sadly, it's not entirely pain-free).

Even though I'll never run a marathon again, I know that I've done one. I'm just glad that I did finally do it in 2005, or else it never would have happened.

The moral of the story: Just Do It (whatever It might be: a marathon, a novel, climbing Mt. Everest) because you never know what life will throw at you.

To everyone who ran the 2005 London Marathon, (but especially my friends Laura, Liz and Sam) Happy Marathon Anniversary!

Just for kicks, and because I can, I've rerun the picture of me and my personal trainer at the family meet-and-greet area, where he tried to steal (or eat) my medal, which he earned too.

Friday, April 13, 2007

So It Goes, Kurt Vonnegut

American novelist Kurt Vonnegut, author of several mind-bending books including, "Breakfast of Champions" and "Slaughterhouse-Five," died Wednesday. He was 84.

I always had a special place in my heart for Mr. Vonnegut-- he was a great writer, an astute observer of human nature and (sympathetically) seemed to be on the brink of madness. But I felt a connection to him because we share the same birthday-- 11.11.

Mr. Vonnegut's books were an acquired taste, to be sure, but once you got into the swing of things, they were a real joy to read, and unlike anything you read before. "Slaughterhouse-Five," published in 1969, became a best seller, but was also banned in many U.S. schools, so you know it has to be good.

I can still remember the weekend I read "Breakfast of Champions" twenty years ago. (And no, it wasn't required reading). I was a senior in high school and an aspiring writer, and I couldn't believe how original, crazy and astute the novel was-- not to mention hysterically funny.

When we lived in Chicago, Mr. Vonnegut, a legendary chain-smoker, went to the University of Chicago in 1997 to give a talk and sign books of his then newly published novel, "Timequake." We got there too late to get a seat for the talk, but we were able to purchase a signed copy of the book. When I turned to the autograph, there were still several ashes from his cigarette on the page. To this day, I still haven't read the book because I don't want to lose the ashes by opening it up again.

In the novel, “God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, or Pearls Before Swine,” he has his own unique advice for new members of the world:
“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ”

So it goes, Mr. Vonnegut.

p.s. One of the best obituraries I read yesterday (and where I found the advice to babies) was in the New York Times. Read it here.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Mr. Movie Alert!

This is such big news for Mr. Movie, I'm tempted to go upstairs right now and wake him up and tell him. However, I will resist the urge, as it's 11:30 p.m. and Bad Things Will Happen if I do.

In any case, if Mr. Movie (aka Thing Two) were awake he'd like you to know:
TOY STORY 3 WILL BE OUT IN 2009! (and yes, he would scream it, if he were up)

As reported in Variety (back in February, I'm just catching up), the film will be directed by Lee Unkrich, who co-directed "Finding Nemo," "Monsters Inc." and "Toy Story 2." The story will be written by Oscar-winner Michael Arndt, who wrote, "Little Miss Sunshine."

[Pause for Internet research here]
According to the Internet Movie Database, both Tom Hanks [Woody, for all of you philistines out there] and Tim Allen [Buzz Lightyear] already have signed on for the project.

So that'll be big news for the breakfast table, then.

Famous on Wikipedia (no, not me)

Wikipedia, probably the most popular web-based encyclopedia there is, prominently features a new topic every day. On Friday, the featured article was about The Turk, the chess-playing automaton. The 18th century machine fascinated people worldwide, mainly because people thought a machine couldn't be so smart. As it happens, the machine wasn't so smart, it was in fact (SPOILER ALERT!) a person inside who was so smart.

Why do I know so much about The Turk? Because my friend Tom Standage wrote a great book about it called, "The Turk: The Life and Times of the Famous Eighteenth-Century Chess-Playing Machine."

Wikipedia's featured article relied pretty heavily on Tom's book for source material, which was quite cool for Tom (though it didn't help his Amazon ranking much, unfortunately).

So read the featured article, and if that intrigues you, buy the book.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Easter Parade

To get everyone in the Easter spirit, here's a picture of Thing One and Thing Two and their school's Easter parade. In the spirit of full disclosure, this parade was actually two weeks ago, but I'm just getting around to posting the picture now.

Thing Two (on the left) is wearing a bird's nest on his head, with a chocolate bird perched precariously on the top (it fell off shortly after this was taken). Thing Two (on the right) is wearing a bunny head, complete with white furry ears and buck teeth. I think they look amazing, but of course I would think that, since I did most of the labour for this project (both sons took on a management role for this project).

To make a long story short, I could have given this post the headline, "Learning to be a Good Loser. Again."

We did not win. We did not even place. Thing Two, who luckily is obvilious to the world when presented with consolation chocolate by the nice PTA ladies, said, "Look Mom! I won! I won!"

Thing One, on the other hand, was not fooled. Not in the least. He thought for sure he had a prize winning entry this year. On the way to the parade, he was still talking about how he lost two years ago. Even Anna, the PTA organizer of the event (who could be a Bond girl in her spare time, with her cool Russian accent) hoped he would win, because she, too, remembered his crushing defeat of 2005.

So he lost. We had to walk around the corner from the event so he could have a good, long cry on my shoulder.

He's still learning how to be a good loser. But that's a tough lesson to learn when you're only 7 1/2. Maybe 2009 will be his year.