BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
Whenever the #Oscars show classic film clips, they should run a font that says "WOULD NOT BE MADE TODAY."
mastapleton Maureen Stapleton
#Oscars Where's George Clooney? I was promised George Clooney, and so far, nada. He'd better show up soon. I'm getting tired.
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
#Oscars: Each year they should do a montage of actresses who turned 40 and can't get work anymore.
mastapleton Maureen Stapleton
#Oscars Sad music. Good money on this being the "In Memoriam" bit. I'm disappointed that Celine Dion isn't wearing her backwards tuxedo tho.
mastapleton Maureen Stapleton
#Oscars Randy Newman wins again, and he's giving a pretty entertaining speech. Glad to see he won again.
mastapleton Maureen Stapleton
@camherrera I agree. You have to love how she perfectly matched her hair to the dress. And vice versa.
mastapleton Maureen Stapleton
#Oscars By my count, only five more awards to hand out. I'll guarantee that we have more than an hour and a half to hand them out.
mastapleton Maureen Stapleton
#Oscars I say this every year: the superfluous historic clips are the reason this broadcast is always SO LONG.
mastapleton Maureen Stapleton
@camherrera Just got some nice TC birthday cake. Best use of a commercial break ever.
mastapleton Maureen Stapleton
#Oscars We will never see Banksy. Oh well. I didn't think it was that great of a "documentary" (quotation marks intentional) anyway.
mastapleton Maureen Stapleton
#Oscars Oh hey! Oprah! I've nearly forgotten about you. More importantly: WILL WE SEE BANKSY?
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