Oscars: 2:47 a.m.

Oh! There's Matt Damon!! I read on my Twitter feed he was going home after he lost in the Best Supporting Actor category. I guess he changed his mind.

A really good speech from Mo'Nique, who wins, as predicted, for Best Supporting Actress in Precious.

Can someone please tell me what Colin Firth's connection to "An Education" is? Or did they think, "Oh, he's British. They all know each other over there, don't they?" OK. Just thought of a tenous link: He starred in "Fever Pitch", based on the book by Nick Hornby, who adapted "An Education". (You're welcome, my American friends.)

Oscars: 2:29 a.m.

Seems slightly inappropriate that Carey Mulligan and Zoe Salanda enter to the tune of, "Thank Heavens for Little Girls." I think both should get an Oscar for navigating those stairs with those shoes and those trains. Any time they saved by not singing all of the Oscar songs has now evaporated due to the over-long introduction to the Animated Shorts Oscar award.

Oh no! Wallace and Gromit lose! This is terrible. More long faces at the breakfast table tomorrow morning.

Ben Stiller as Avatar. Are they ever going to let that poor man come to the Oscars in a tux? He is funny. Ironic that he's doing the Best Makeup award in makeup for a movie not nominated for it.

Time for a Dodgeball reference, just because I can: "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."

Oscars: 2:02 a.m.

Sweet merciful God: it looks as though we're not going to have to listen to all of the Best Song nominees in their entirety this year. Maybe we will finish up before 5 a.m. this morning. I REALLY would like to get to bed before Mr. MarathonMum gets up at 5:10 a.m.

T-Bone Burnett just wins, which has got to be the greatest name of a winner ever, though not the best name of a winning song. That honour would go to: "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" (2006).

Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr. are pretty funny. Man, I wish "30 Rock" was on a regular time on a regular channel, rather than channel 129 at 10 p.m. on random days.

Hurt Locker wins its first award, and I'm cheered to hear that the writer who won is a former journalist who wrote

I just thought, "Who is that with Matthew Broderick." Oh! Molly Ringwald, and they're both doing a nice tribute to John Hughes. I'm sure this is making all of us Children of the 80s choked up

"Ferris Bueller's Day Off": Definitely in my Top 10 favourite movies of all time. "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Now a nice assemblage of the Class of John Hughes (Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, Anthony Michael Hal, Matthew Broderick, Mac Culkin and Judd Nelson). It has to be said: Judd Nelson hasn't aged well.

Oscars: 1:46 a.m.

OK. Best supporting actor is out of the way, but we're already on to the only category this family cares about: Best Animated Feature.

We all voted for Fantastic Mr. Fox. Don't get me wrong, Up was great, and I won't be disappointed if it wins, but I thought Mr. Fox was, well, Fantastic. I've seen it three times now in theatres, and it holds up: it's clever, it's hilarious, it's inventive and it's faithful to the book.

The winner is: Up.

OK, that's all fine, but I still think that Fantastic Mr. Fox was better, and I say this as a HUGE Pixar fan. (Note to self: Does this mean that our "Up" art book, signed by director Pete Doctor and another name we can't decipher, is now actually worth more?)

Maybe this is why George Clooney seems grumpy: he knows he'll be losing out on all of the awards that he's up for tonight.

Sadness at the breakfast table tomorrow, I have to say.

Oscars: 1:03 a.m.

It's time for the Main Event. Sky just warned us that this program, "May contain sparkly diamonds and flashing images." Funny.

But 30 minutes later, I'm still waiting for things to start. Really, they should warn people of this so we could use the time to do something useful, like make coffee or have a piece of chocolate tart. Hooray! Finally starting!

Nice new touch: lining up all the Best Actor and Best Actress nominees. Might as well have them up first thing since we won't see them for another five hours anyway.

Look! There's Doogie Harris, M.D. Obviously trying to recapture the lightening-in-a-bottle success of Hugh Jackman singing and dancing last year. Only one big problem: I can't hear him. This broadcast will not be winning anything for sound, it looks like.

Hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin descend from a large crystal ball. If only I could make an entrance like that...

Vera Farmiga gets to sit next to George Clooney all night long. Lucky woman. But it looks as though George is in a bad mood, and he certainly isn't enjoying the jokes directed toward him.

Wow. A reference to "The Jerk." Now one from me: "The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!"

Poor Sandra Bullock. She looks SO nervous.

Finally. The first award of the night, only 45 minutes in. THIS is why I will be up until 5 a.m.

Oscars: Red Carpet Coverage (Part III)

George Clooney, always charming, looks awfully tired but is being very charming with the innane SkyOne interviewer. But he did say he hopes Jeff Bridges wins for "Crazy Heart." Classy.

Serendipity! Here's Jeff Bridges now, also being interviewed on SkyOne. Even though I haven't seen Crazy Heart, I hope he wins because he's awesome in everything he's ever been in. Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury I submit to you: The Fabulous Baker Boys, The Fisher King, The Big Lebowski, even Fearless (seen by about six people, including me and Mr. MarathonMum). George Clooney was fantastic in "Up in the Air," so Jeff Bridges must be pretty good to beat George. We'll see. Bonus Points if he works in a reference to "The Big Lebowski" in his speech if he does win.

Kate Winslet looks very pretty, but I also worry that she seems to be disappearing. Are they letting her eat these days?

Charlize Theron: Big Mistake with the "Look At My Boobs!" dress. This will not go over well, I predict.

Cameron Diaz just waltzed in at the last minute, but finally, after years of wearing really kooky dresses to Oscar night, looks like the former model that she is. Maybe she fired her former stylist.

Wow. I can't believe it. The pre-game show is over, and it's on to the Main Event. I haven't even had a coffee yet. Might be time to do that now before things kick off.

Oscars: Red Carpet Coverage (Part II)

Just got my first look at Sandra Bullock, who looks like might win Best Actress tonight. She looks, at a very brief first glance, that she's impersonating a little gold Oscar herself in her gold dress. We might have to file this dress under the "Hillary Swank 2005" dress, where it would only looked good from the back, i.e. if she had to go up to the stage and collect the Oscar

Diane Kruger, usually impeccably dressed, is not so much tonight. It's some sort of odd pink-silk-pleating dress with a black neck and touches. Oh, goodness, no. Big mistake.

Ryan Seacrest is now talking to Quinton Aaron, the star of "The Blind Side" who was working security before be got the call to be the star on the movie. Tim McGraw has the best line of the night so far when he says, "People don't know how good an actor this guy is because he's actually a 5'8" white guy."

Nick Hornby is being interviewed on Sky-- you have to know that Ryan Seacrest wouldn't even know who he is, let alone stop him for an interview. He is living my dream, because let's face, it, the only way I'd ever get to Oscar night would be for writing, as it certainly won't be for my acting.

Wow. Sarah Jessica Parker, who's wearing Chanel, has A LOT of hair. Her dress actually looks quite comfortable, but I have to say her face looks a little tight. Maybe she's had some work done?

Colin Firth is being interviewed by SkyOne, but what I really want to know is what his wife, Livia is wearing. She's been trying to wear ethical fashion all awards season, which she's calling the "Green Carpet Challenge" for Vogue. Her dress is actually made from offcuts from other designers, and is unbeliveable, especially since it is, in essence, recycled. Now being interviewed by Ryan Seacrest, he made Colin Firth show the label on his tux to prove that he's wearing Tom Ford. He is, but like I said, I think Tom Ford makes a better tux than a movie.

Oscars: Red Carpet Coverage

Vera Farmiga, who was fantastic in "Up in the Air," is here and just said she's wearing Marchesa in magenta and looks great. She just plugged Kathryn Bigelow to win Best Director for "The Hurt Locker", and then realized she should have said Jason Reitman, who was the director in, um, THE MOVIE SHE WAS IN. I feel bad for her.

Ryan Reynolds is here now but where is his wife, Scarlett Johansson? Why are they never pictured anywhere together? Or pehaps, in the grand tradition of Hollywood marriages, they've already broekn up, 16 months after they married?

There's now a traffic jam of people waiting to talk to Ryan Seacrest: James Cameron, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Elizabeth Banks and Sigorney Weaver. Only on Oscar Night.

I'm now toggling between E! Live from the Red Carpet with Ryan Seacrest, Jay Manuel and some annoying woman, and Sky One coverage, who has someone neither you nor I have ever heard of trying to get whoever she can to stop and talk to her on the Red Carpet. It's painful, but I have to go somewhere during the commercial breaks.

Hate to say, but it's back-to-back dresses I don't like: Maggie Gyllenhaal's dress is too busy-- prints on Oscar night could be daring, but it doesn't work-- and Elizabeth Bank's dress, while beautiful, is also gray. Gray! On Oscar Night! Are you kidding me?

Tom Ford, director/writer/producer of "A Single Man", who also happens to be a fashion designer. I think he should stick to fashion: the movie felt like the first offering of a film school student, though Colin Firth was fantastic. Get this: Tom Ford just said he is wearing Tom Ford!

Oscar Night 2010

After a hiatus of one year, live Oscar coverage on MarathonMum is back! Welcome back, all two of my readers!!

Oscars 2010: Will it be the year of "Avatar"? (Hope not). Will Sandra Bullock beat Meryl Streep? (Looks like it.) Will "Fantastic Mr. Fox" pull an upset over "Up"? (Probably not, but everyone at our dinner table hopes so.)

We're only 15 minutes into Red Carpet coverage, so it's still minor stars-- supporting actresses (Anna Kendrick), people who won the Fame Lottery this year (Sam Worthington, star of Avatar) and Zac Efron.

Oh goodness. Ryan Seacrest is interviewing the mayor of Los Angeles, and they said Nicole Richie and Joel Madden up next (talk about punching above your weight). We really ARE in the early minutes of Red Carpet coverage.

Roll on, Oscar night!

Bocca di Lupo: Our Best Lunch Ever

The alchemy of a fantastic meal is difficult, but not impossible, to define. Is it the anticipation? Is it the company? Is it the surroundings? Is it the service? Is it the food? Likely it is a combination of all of these things, but the formula is never the same. But when you have a truly memorable, astounding meal, the joy of the experience will last several days.

Our recent lunch at Bocca di Lupo left me so full of good food that I was happy for two days afterward. It was that good.

To get there, we traversed Leicester Square and walked past Chinatown, and took a left to get to this small restaurant on a side street in Soho. We were greeted warmly and enthusiastically, which helped enormously on a cold day in February. Unlike Locanda Locatelli, where it seems as though you have to take a Hipness Test just to secure a table, there is no attitude at Bocca di Lupo.

As we could only get a reservation at the counter, they asked us if we would like to be close to the chef. We thought that would be great fun, so we said "Please." When we got to our seats, I thought it would be terrible, because we were on the end where all of the waiters go to pick up the food. How wrong I was. They were the Best Seats in the House.

As Head Chef Jacob Kenedy wasn't there, we could see the handiwork of David Cook, the second chef, up close. We could see him discard a dish because it had too much parsley on it. We learned as soon as he did that they had run out of the brioche dessert. We saw him yell at one waiter that he was rushing the diners, and then he told us he was talking about us. We could ask him questions about certain ingredients. We could see what dishes were the most popular-- Cream of Langoustine Risotto went through the pass several times-- and the ones that were hardly ever ordered-- Coda all Vaccinara (braised oxtail).

Bocca di Lupo could be described as Italian tapas, because you can order either the small sized dish or the large dish. We ordered seven small dishes shared between the two of us, and that satisfied us until breakfast the next day. The highlights were the Spaghetti & Parmesan Frittata (fresh eggs + careful preparation = gorgeous dish) and the Crescentini (fried bread) with finocchiona, speck and squacquerone (a fresh runny cheese with a big salt kick=delicious).

When we return, and you better believe we'll be back, we'll probably sit at the counter again just for the Food Theatre. The chef never measured anuthing with a measuring cup, he did it all by handfuls, tastes and smells. When we asked about the squacquerone, we agreed that it was sublime but probably also not very healthy."If you're going to pick your poison," I said, "I want it to taste good."

We finished off with a build-your-own Cannoli and a Bombe Calde (freshly fried donut with a chocolate cream filling). By then we were very fully, very satisfied and very happy.

Once we recognized during the meal that this was going to be one for the record books, we took a trip a down memory lane ranking our favourite meals out. In the Top 5 were the Connaught Hotel with Angela Hartnett for our 10th anniversary in 2005, a place in Dijon we went to on our honeymoon in 1995 and will never find again, any night at Pastafina in Chicago (our local when we were courting and beyond (1991-1998), grilled halibut fresh off the docks in Homer, Alaska (1996), and Bocca di Lupo (2010).

The science of alchemy is a mystery, just like the variables at work in our Top 5 Favourite Meals of All Time. But when you get it right, it's pure gold.

Bocca di Lupo, 12 Archer Street, Soho, London W1D 7BB. 020.7734.2223.

Why I Think Gordon Brown Is Not a Bully

Occasionally, there are news stories here in the U.K. that just go on and on and on for no discernible reason. This week that story is "Gordon Brown is a Bully."

Gordon Brown, you see, is our prime minister. A new book has come out by the Observer's political editor that recounts some scenes that show that our prime minister has a bit of a temper. Shocker! Someone with one of the most stressful jobs in the world gets angry from time to time. Stop the presses! This is big news!

Soon after the book's excerpts were printed in the Sunday Observer, Christine Pratt, the head of the National Bullying Helpline, claimed that her charity had received several calls from staff at Downing Street. She then made appearances on every major news show in the U.K. to recount the claims. Ms. Pratt, it would seem, got her 15 minutes of fame.

However, I don't think this story passes the smell test.

First, think about people who are lucky enough to work at Downing Street. Surely they must appreciate the stress the prime minister is under, and he may get angry from time to time. I get angry from time to time and I don't even have to worry about running a country. Surely they wouldn't have felt the need to get support from a helpline? A helpline, incidentally, that is only open from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on weekdays and 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturdays.

Secondly, the charity is incredibly small. That's not to say that people wouldn't have called it, but surely if people had concerns about being bullied at work, they would have used better known avenues to vent their frustration and concerns. According to the Charity Commission website, the charity only had revenues of £1,818 in 2007, and the accounts for 2008 are 209 days overdue.

In fact, if you Google "Bullying at Work," the charity's website doesn't appear in the first 100 search results, or the first 10 search results pages, though it does top the list in news results.

Finally, even if they did call the helpline, isn't that an egregious breach of confidentiality? Wouldn't Ms. Pratt's claims make future clients reluctant to call the helpline, for fear that their information would be shared in the national media?

I don't doubt that the charity did good work, albeit on a small scale. But I just don't believe that they got the calls. The helpline has been suspended, as most of its patrons have now resigned, and it needs to figure out what to do next.

Please, U.K. news media, can we move to another story now?

For my friends under a blanket of snow...

p.s. At the moment, it's coming down in London, too!

Lego Portaits: Best Use of the iPhone

I jest, of course, because there are a million useful things you can do with an iPhone. But this is our new fascination, which is turning pictures of ourselves into Lego portraits. I entertained four children for 30 minutes at the pool yesterday with this, and if that's not worth the price of the app (free!), then I don't know what is.

The new Lego Application: Get it, and become a star among the Under 11 set.

The Last Decade, in Magazine Covers (Very Cool)

What it Feels Like in the U.K. Right Now

(As taken by NASA's Terra Satellite on Thursday)

Christmas Snow in London

Thing One enjoying the icy slopes at Greenwich Park on Sunday.

"It looks like my face has been warped," he said.

(Position in lower left corner due to slow shutter speed of the iPhone.)

Greenwich Advent Windows 2009

Candy Cane Christmas

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Thanksgiving Turkeys 2009

Happily made by 24 Cub Scout Beavers in London

(Thing Two did the one on the right)

Last night, I had to go to Thing Two's Cub Scout Beavers meeting to talk to the boys and girls about the most exotic of things: How Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving.

I had done this, once before, for Thing One three years ago. Luckily, I even still had feathers left over from the last time, handily stored away in our Party Box. In any case, we made the above turkeys using apples, pipe cleaners, feathers, toothpicks (or cocktail sticks, as they say here) and tape. I was pretty pleased with my handiwork.

I started off the evening by giving the Beavers a brief history of Thanksgiving. Here's a summary:

"The Pilgrims left England. They went to Holland, but didn't like that either. They finally found two boats (The Mayflower and The Speedwell) to take them to the "New World." Only the Mayflower made the whole journey. There were 102 passengers by the time they landed in Massachusetts on 11 November 1620. One baby was born en route. November is not the best time to start a new life in New England. By the time their first year was out, 50 people died. Their brave commander was Captain Miles Standish. The pilgrims were lucky to have help from the Indians, who taught them how to farm and what they could eat. The first Thanksgiving in 1621, about one year after they landed, was a three-day feast. The pilgrims even drank liquor!! Thanksgiving became a national holiday when George Washington was president in 1789. Abraham Lincoln proclaimed in 1862 that Thanksgiving will be celebrated forevermore on the fourth Thursday of November. FDR fiddled with it a little bit during the depression, to make it earlier in order to give beleaguered retailers a longer Christmas season, but public outcry led to a Congressional resolution which set Thanksgiving officially as the fourth Thursday in November. Americans have been proudly eating and drinking to excess on that day ever since."

Since we don't have the day off here in the U.K. today or tomorrow, we will formally celebrate Thanksgiving on Saturday, when we can eat and drink to excess, as our Founding Fathers intended.

Hope you all enjoy my most favourite holiday of the year.

Halloween 2009

Max from "Where the Wild Things Are" and Einstein get ready to party.

Taking a Chance in Lisbon

Mr. MarathonMum and I got to go away to Lisbon for a "dirty weekend" (as they say here, and I have to say, I do love that expression). The weather was sunny and hot, the people were nice and the legendary custard tarts at Antiga Confeitaria de Belem, were, quite simply, one of the best things I ever ate.

It was our last night there and we wanted to have a really special meal. Our less than impressive hotel, which came with our British Airways package deal, recommended a local restaurant. Mr. MarathonMum was skeptical, but I told him we should try it. It was late, I was tired, and I didn't want to spend my night tromping around the streets of Lisbon looking for a restaurant.

But Mr. MarathonMum was right: the restaurant was awful. I think it's safe to say that if the menus are laminated and you're not in Denny's or a diner, it won't be a good dining experience. So for the first time in our life, we made our apologies to the waiter and told him we wouldn't be eating there after all, and walked out.

On the way to Disaster Dining, we passed a pretty unassuming restaurant that proudly displayed its fresh meat and fish in its front window. It looked promising, so we decided to go there, after rejecting two other restaurants on looks alone on the way there.

It was the best decision we've made this year. Although they didn't speak much English, they spoke enough. Not only were the menus not laminated, I'm not sure they had menus at all-- instead the waiter just told us what was fresh and good for the day and then they grilled it for us.

This restaurant would probably never make the cut for a guidebook. (Though I was amazed to find it on the Interweb.) It was truly a local restaurant for local people, and the food was delicious. It was one of the best meals we've had all year.

Almost 10 years ago, I went to Rome with my friend. I remember walking about 30 minutes to get to a restaurant that was recommended in our guidebook, and I distinctly remember saying to her, "It's possible that we're passing loads of restaurants that would be just as good. We're slaves to the book!"

I know that travelling can be daunting and sometimes difficult. It's just easier to rely on the words and advice of people who have been to the cities before to figure out where to go, but especially where to eat. But as our experience in Lisbon shows, sometimes taking a chance can be the best decision of all.

Thing One Turns 10!

Thing One with his birthday Ferrari. (He wishes!!)

Ten years old! Double digits! Now that is something else, for both Thing One and his parents. It's such a cliche to say, "Wow, time has flown by," but honestly, time really has flown by.

He's so big now, I was left wondering yesterday if I could still pick him up. After all, he's only a head shorter than me at this point-- so last night I tried to do it. Luckily, I can still pick my beautiful boy up, but only just. He's all limbs and angles now, so it's not nearly as easy as it was when I bundled him up in his bear snow suit in 1999 and carted him all around London.

Usually on the birthdays of Thing One and Two I like to summarize the things that they've accomplished this year, and the things they love to do. Thing One still loves science, aerospace, Boy Scouts, swimming, Lego and all things electronic. This year, to his delight, he won the paper airplane flying competition at Science Night at school, he also passed his first cello exam, among other accomplishments.

But the thing he did this year that makes the proudest doesn't come with trophy or a certificate. One Monday, one of Thing One's best friends told me that their cat, Nelson, had been run over by a car during the weekend. His friend, who has got to be one of the toughest boys I know, started to cry. Later that afternoon, Thing One and I started to talk about death-- of both people and beloved pets-- and what that means for people, and how sad it can be.

Thing One gave it some thought, and then he suggested that maybe we would want to get his friend a stuffed cat that resembled Nelson. I said that might make him even sadder, so then Thing One suggested that we stop by the bookstore and get his friend a funny book to cheer him up. We did that, returned home and then Thing One got busy making his friend a card.

Thing One wanted to deliver the gift straightaway, and luckily his grandpa was here from the U.S. so they could walk over together. I don't know what the card said, or what transpired when he got to his friend's house. All I know is the next day, his friend's mother came up to me in the school playground and said, "Your son is unbelievable. He has got to be one of the loveliest boys I know."

I couldn't agree more.

Thing Two Loses First Tooth

Thing Two has been telling us for weeks that he has a wobbly tooth. However, given his propensity to liberally engage with the truth, I did not post a Wobbly Tooth Watch, as I did with Thing One. But even the Boy Who Cried Wolf eventually did see a wolf, and, so Thing Two really was telling the truth.

Thing Two, who we also call Mr. Movie for his love of things cinematic, was, appropriately enough, at the movies watching "Night at the Museum 2" when the tooth finally fell out. It obviously had been wobbling for quite a while because there was no blood at the scene.

Sharp-eyed readers also will notice that he is wearing is Gryffindor tie. This is not because he wanted to look smart for the tooth fairy, but because we were attending a reading awards ceremony sponsored by the library, which Thing Two won.

So all in all, a big day for our little man, who is one step closer to growing up.

Banksy in Bristol!

Waiting in the queue in the pouring rain, which thankfully didn't last for the 2+ hours we were standing in it. The garbage bags were an impulse buy at the beginning of the storm, which I happily distributed to others around us who also lacked proper rain gear (although Thing One and Thing Two had rain jackets on underneath).

The main things we learned at the Banksy vs. Bristol Museum exhibition, which closed today:

• Art can be funny!
• Undoubtedly, there is no nationality better at civilized queing than the British (see: Wimbledon and this exhibit, where people were waiting in a queue up to a mile long, according to news reports)

• A treasure hunt for Banksy pieces through the Bristol Museum is the only way you would ever look at its exhibition on British china in the 18th century or geological formations.

• A two and a quarter hour wait for the Exhibition of the Year (if the national press is to be believed), is nothing if people in the final weekend were waiting up to eight hours during the last weekend.

• Knowing the name of an anonymous artist is only valuable if the name means something to you. As we don't know anyone from Bristol, I don't really care what Banksy's name is.

• If you follow your child's enthusiasm for some things, it may develop into your own enthusiasm. (Thing One liked Banksy first, and it was his idea to go to Bristol for a trip to see the exhibit. We're glad he did.)

• Our friend, Charming Baker, is a more talented artist. And it's *possible* that Banksy may have attended one of his shows. But we'll never know for sure.

But the best way to talk some more about this is to show you some pictures:

The lion was hungry! The poor tamer...

The speech balloons say, (left) "Does anyone actually take this kind of art seriously?"
(Right) "Never under estimate the power of a big gold frame."

If you're interested in seeing more Banksy pictures from the exhibition, or just need a laugh, go to this BBC slide show or to this collection on Flickr. My pictures don't really do it justice.

If you'd like to know more about Banksy, the British guerilla artist/millionare, go to his very exhaustive Wikipedia entry.

For U.S. Girls Living in the 1970s

If you were a little girl in the U.S. during the 1970s....

You had that Fisher Price Doctor's Kit with a stethoscope that actually worked.

You owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a plastic basket with flowers on it. (I didn't have one of these, but my best friend down the road did and I was jealous. I got my brother's hand-me-down Chopper, which, in retrospect, was FAR COOLER.)

You learned to skate with actual skates (not roller blades) that had metal wheels.

You thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute (admit it!)

You had nightmares after watching Fantasy Island .

You had either a 'bowl cut' or 'pixie', not to mention the 'Dorothy Hamill'. People sometimes thought you were a boy.

You had rubber boots for rainy days and Moon boots for snowy days.

YEAH! You owned a 'Slip-n-Slide', on which you injured yourself on a sprinkler head more than once.

You owned 'Klick-Klacks' and smacked yourself in the face more than once!

Your Holly Hobbie sleeping bag was your most prized possession.

You wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers.

You begged Santa for the electronic game, Simon.

You had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple satiny shredded outfits, or the sunshine family

You spent hours in your backyard on your metal swing set with the trapeze. The swing set tipped over at least once.

You had homemade ribbon barrettes in every imaginable color. (Oh yeah!)

You had a pair of Doctor Scholl's sandals (the ones with hard sole & the buckle). You also had a pair of salt-water sandals. (Nope. My mother wouldn't let me get these. She thought they were bad for the feet.)

You wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad; you wore that Little House on the Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffle shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture; and you despised Nellie Oleson!

You wanted your first kiss to be at a roller rink! (But mine wasn't. It was in the closet of my kindergarten class.)

PONG! ('video tennis' ) was the most remarkable futuristic game you've ever heard of AND it was AWESOME.

Your hairstyle was described as having 'wings' or 'feathers' and you kept it 'pretty' with the comb you kept in your back pocket. When you walked, the 'wings' flapped up and down, looked like you were gonna 'take off' .

You know who Strawberry Shortcake is, as well as her friends, Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie.

You carried a Muppets lunch box to school and it was metal, not plastic. With the thermos inside some were glass inside and broke the first time you dropped them.

You and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazzard was your boyfriend.

YOU had Star Wars action figures, too!

It was a big event in your household each year when the 'Wizard of Oz' would come on TV. Your mom would break out the popcorn and sleeping bags!

You often asked your Magic-8 ball the question: 'Who will I marry. Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, or David Cassidy?'

You completely wore out your Grease, Saturday Night Fever, and Fame soundtrack record album.

You tried to do lots of arts and crafts, like yarn and Popsicle-stick God's eyes, decoupage, or those weird potholders made on a plastic loom.

You made Shrinky-Dinks and put iron-on kittens on your t-shirts!

You used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your portable tape player up to the speaker.

You had subscriptions to Dynamite and Tiger Beat. (Nope. Mom wouldn't let me.)

You learned everything you needed to know about girl issues and life from Judy Blume books.

You thought Olivia Newton John's song 'Physical' was about aerobics. (?? its not??)

You wore friendship pins on your tennis shoes, or shoelaces with heart or rainbowdesigns.

You wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer.

You drowned yourself in Love's Baby Soft - which was the first 'real' perfume you ever owned.

You glopped your lips in Strawberry Roll-on lip-gloss till it almost dripped off.

The Dark Side Can Dance!

Kid Fun: What to do in London with your children

Unfortunately, this scene was from last summer, when you could ride in a leaky plywood boat on top of the Hayward Gallery and get this phenomenal view of Big Ben and the Eye. But I liked this photo so much-- and I never posted it last year-- that I'm using it here, since it does tie into this post.

My friend Kavita, who I haven't seen in forever, is coming to visit us with her family in August. She wanted some suggestions for things to do during their five-day visit. I prepared this last year for another friend who was visiting London with her 13-year-old daughter, so I'm posting it here, so I can share my tips with those trolling on the Interweb. My knowledge for the following is hard won: having been a London resident for more than 10 years AND the mother of two boys who have done everything on this list. But I don't know everything. If you have any suggestions, or places I have missed, please add them in the comments section.

Quinessentially British: Things Every Tourist Should Do
1. See Big Ben. Every time I see this, and from every angle, I get a thrill. But one of my favourite ways to see it is by boat, which you can take from Greenwich up the river to Embankment, which will leave you right next to Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament.
2. Go to the Tower of London. Yes, it's full of tourists and it'll be very crowded at the height of tourist season in August. But where else can you see the Crown Jewels, not to mention the place where they beheaded Anne Boleyn and the tower where they kept the little princes?
3. Ride the London Eye. Built for the Millennium, this is a great place to get a bird's eye view of Big Ben and the rest of the city. You only go around once, but the ferris wheel moves pretty slowly, so you get your money's worth.
4. See the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace. I guess I am not yet "quinessentially British" since I still haven't gotten around to seeing this properly, even after 10 years here (though I did see a bit of it from the back of a black cab in September 2001). But I understand that it is pretty cool, but only if you like parades and uniforms.
5. Visit the British Museum. I think they have one of everything here, but the highlights are easy to list: the Rosetta stone, the Elgin marbles (see them before Greece convinces the British to give them back and put them in the new museum), the mummy collection, an Easter Island statue ("Hello, dum-dum. Got any gum-gum?") and more. They say this is one of the best museums in the world, and I believe them. (Great Russell Street, WC1, Tube: Holborn, Russell Square or Tottenham Court Road)

Best Free Museums
1. Science Museum (Exhibition Road, SW7, Tube: South Kensington) Fantastic hands-on exhibits. You absolutely should go to the Launch Pad on the third floor. The best thing for kids to do in London. www.sciencemuseum.org.uk,
2. Natural History Museum (Cromwell Road, SW7, Tube: South Kensington) Dinosaurs! Natural disasters! Animals! Fantastic and free. www.nhm.ac.uk,
3. Tate Modern (Bankside, SE1 Tube: St. Pauls, and then walk over the wobbly bridge to the museum). Lots of fun big modern art. The boys love this place. There’s a family activity pack that’s free and available on Sundays from Level 3.
4. Victoria & Albert Museum (V&A) (Cromwell Road, SW7, Tube: South Kensington) Girls in particular will love this museum because they have a fantastic costume/fashion collection. Beautiful. On Saturdays they have kids activity backpacks that you can borrow that have things you can do around the museum.
5. Royal Observatory/National Maritime Museum (Greenwich Park, SE10) The Royal Observatory is free, and they've got several rooms full of interactive exhibits for children explaining space. The Peter Harrison Planetarium at the Observatory isn't free, but it's got great shows that are well worth a visit. The National Maritime Museum has some interesting exhibits about the changing environment and the history of maritime exploration.

Best Parks for Kids
1. Greenwich Park (Obviously! But I'm biased) Paddle boats near the playground are really fun. Also, the Observatory at the top of the hill is free. If you go all the way to the top corner, you can see deer in the deer enclosure. Impress your children by telling them that Henry VIII used to joust here. Also, the presence of the Meridian Line allows you to gracefully cross from the Western to the Eastern Hemisphere easily, not to be mention to truly be able to site GMT (Greenwich Meridian Time).
2. Kensington Gardens: Beautiful lake in the middle populated by swans. Also home to Kensington Palace (very pretty) and the Diana, Princess of Wales Playground, which is great fun and free.
3. Hyde Park: Great for a hot day, as there are paddle boats, but also the Diana Memorial Fountain. You’re allowed to put your feet into the fountain (but not walk around it), which would be good for a hot day. You can also swim in the Serpentine for a small fee.

Shopping! (Even if you don’t buy anything, these shops are legendary)
1. Top Shop on Oxford Circus (Tube: Oxford Circus) Allegedly Kate Moss shops here. Apparently, a teenage girl’s version of heaven.
2. Hamley’s on Regent Street (Tube: Oxford Circus) Seven floors of toys, and lots of demonstrations throughout the store. Even if you don’t buy anything, it’s worth seeing.
3. Harrod’s: (Tube: Knightsbridge) Perfectly ridiculous shop, but when I took my brother here, he couldn’t believe it—and he still talks about it. The food hall is something to see.
4. Portabello Road Market: Saturday flea market in Notting Hill. It will be heaving with people, but it's still worth seeing. (Tube: Notting Hill Gate)
5. Covent Garden (Tube: Covent Garden or Charing Cross) Again, lots of tourists go here, but there’s always a load of street performers to make it interesting.
6. Borough Market (Tube: London Bridge) Foodie heaven, which is held weekly from Thursday to Saturday.

Seeing Pure Pride and Joy

This picture probably best represents Great Happiness, but not Pure Joy and Pride. Pure Joy is the next step up from Great Happiness, and Pure Joy and Pride is the ultimate.

My mother has a brilliant photo of Thing One, aged about two. In it, he is pointing to something off camera, but his face is one of Pure Joy. What, pray tell, did he happen to spot? It was a DLR train coming down the track. Any parent of a two-year-old boy will understand why such a sight would provoke a look of Pure Joy.

Today, I got to see the ultimate expression: Pure Joy and Pride. Thing One, who has been taking cello lessons for almost two years, took his cello exam on Monday. Here in the United Kingdom, people who are studying musical instruments occasionally take exams. Each exam is a "Grade", starting with Grade 1, and going up to Grade 8. The students are graded by an independent judge, who compiles the score and then determines if it's a pass or a fail. This is all very official and systematic, unlike the system I grew up with, where you practiced when nagged, had a weekly lesson, and then finally abandoned all efforts once you discover boys (or girls, as the case may be).

Thing One had been waiting to see if he had passed since Monday. He was as cool as a cucumber leading up to the test, professing that he wasn't nervous. Upon leaving the examination room, he declared that he had done "brilliantly." But he was still waiting for the official word.

Today, he got it: He passed.

Thing One ran out of the school doors with the biggest smile of pride and joy you could ever imagine. He was justifiably proud of his accomplishment, which was entirely his. Once we shared a (very long) celebratory hug, he ran around the playground, looking for his friends to tell him the good news.

I'm just sorry that I didn't think to take a picture of it. Pure Pride and Joy doesn't come along nearly enough in life.

A Tribute to Michael Jackson

Scene: Mom returns home after a long day at the office. Thing One and Thing Two are gathered around Thing Two's Acer (now the hottest computer on the globe), watching YouTube.

Mom: Hi! How was your day? What are you watching?

Thing One: Michael Jackson, of course.  (The sounds of Thriller rise from the computer.)

Thing Two: What's happening? 

Mom: Well, he's turning into a zombie.

Thing One: No, he's not, he's dancing.

Mom: Yes he is. Look at his eyes. He's become a zombie.

Thing Two: Look at that dancing! He's really good.

(The video has now progressed to the part where the zombies are trying to get to Michael Jackson's "girlfriend" in the abandoned house.)

Thing Two: What are they doing?

Mom: Well, they're trying to eat the girlfriend because zombies eat humans!

Thing One: But they're not eating Michael Jackson.

Thing Two: (with a great deal of confidence) They're not eating him because they like Michael Jackson's music.

Maybe that's true. R.I.P. Michael Jackson.

Happy 6th Birthday Thing Two!

Happy 6th Birthday, Thing Two!

Thing Two turned SIX on Friday, so we had a weekend filled with celebrations, Star Wars and, most importantly, chocolate cake. Those in the know will note his new Arsenal kit ("uniform"), which he proudly wore for his football party in Greenwich Park on Saturday. 

Here are some of the things I love about Thing Two as he reaches milestone No. 6:

1. His outlook on life in which his glass is always half-full.

2. His sunny nature, disposition and laughter.

3. His extra-large personality.

4. How he still needs a cuddle to start his day.

5. His continued love of movies, for which we still call him Mr. Movie.

6. When asked if he did something wrong (when clearly he did), his "I don't know" (along with funny intonation) response.

7. His willingness to help in the kitchen, whether it is to help pack lunches or make cookies.

8. His love of reading.

9. His continued inability to simply walk down the stairs, but instead, leap from step to step, which makes it sound as if a dinosaur were approaching.

Happy Birthday Thing Two. May you have many more.

One for the Grandmothers: The Annual Daffodil Picture

Every year since 2003, when I was heavily pregnant with Thing Two, I have taken the boys over to the Queen's House to get their picture taken in front of annual blanket of daffodils. This is this year's offering, taken about 10 days ago when we had an unseasonably warm weekend (thus the shorts). 

To see past pictures, go to last year's post. 

Happy Spring!