How Do You Solve A Problem Like Spongebob?*

*Sung to the tune of "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?" from the Sound of Music.

After yesterday's marathon of events (a "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory" birthday party for Thing One, a screening of "Curious George" for Thing Two, a reading awards ceremony for Thing One and a Zoomaround birthday party for the both of them, all in different locations), I was hoping for a relatively restful morning before heading out to Greenwich's annual Car Free Day. It was not to be.

Let me explain. At the screening of "Curious George" Thing Two received a gift bag to celebrate the Picturehouse's first birthday. The bag included a Spongebob Squarepants T-shirt, which unfortunately for Thing Two was two sizes too big for him, but the perfect size for Thing One. [All the parents reading this know what happened next.] Thing One wanted to wear the shirt. Thing Two said no. Thing One put on the shirt, to show him how perfect it was. Thing Two said no. Thing One asked, enquired, pleaded and begged Thing Two to wear the shirt. No. No. No. No. This went on for-- I'm not kidding-- an hour. At one point, Thing One went down to his new typewriter and typed out the message, "Please Nichlas, let me wear the shirt." No again.

Much like the U.N. in civil wars, I found that I needed to get involved.
Will you let him wear the shirt if I give you a chocolate? No.
Will you let him wear the shirt if I give you a Simpsons ice lolly? No.
Will you let him wear the shirt if I get you a magazine? No.
Will you let him wear the shirt if I get you a cupcake? No.
Will you let him wear the shirt if I get you a very special treat, which you can pick out? Oh, [big sigh] OK.

With peace brokered, we set out for Greenwich Car Free Day. In its fifth year, this is an annual event where two major streets are closed down for entertainment, games, food and fun. It's always heaving with people, and we always run into lots of friends there. It's great.

As expected, with the hordes of people at events like this come the helium balloon vendors. After we had finished our bike race challenge (with Thing One pedalling, and Thing Two sitting atop the stationery bike while I pushed the pedals for him [I won]), we found a vendor with a cast of characters: Tigger, Piglet, Dora the Explorer, Bob the Builder and (hooray!) Spongebob Squarepants.

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Spongebob? You pay £4 to get a helium balloon. Peace at last.